Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
