Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Duck Duck Cougar?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
that's an acceptable place to lick
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
