Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
