Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
