i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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