ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
this will be a night to untag.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
