So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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