What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
