I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
