Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
