I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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