we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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