well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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