u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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