Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
