It's like God shit irony all over that family
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Enjoy the penises
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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