Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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