i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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