i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
