Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
