i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
