I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
