Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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