Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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