420 ftw
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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