dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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