she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
