my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize