I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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