Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
