I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
