I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
