More tranny stories later!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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