Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
