You're completely useless in the revolution.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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