You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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