Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
