I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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