Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You are the jesus of drinking
Shame - the story of my life.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
