Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
