I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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