my shit smells like andre
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
