how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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