On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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