was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
