I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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