Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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