you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize