Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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