Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
where are you?
Hypothermia
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
