if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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