he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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