you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
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michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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