you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
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Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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