i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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