Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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