I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're a waste of cheezeits
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
