peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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