they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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