I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
