Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize